I’ve always known purchasing a home was in my future.  However, the idea always included a husband. Not one to be deterred due to one piece not being present, I began shopping for a mortgage the beginning of the year.  On my birthday, I was pre-approved for one through Quicken. Feeling under the weather and having some concerns with my in-house realtor, I switched back to a contact from my past, Jenniefer P.  Things have been looking up but this shit certainly isn’t what they showcase on all those HGTV shows.  I’m muhfuckin tied (insert little girls voice).

Here are all the properties I have seen. I tell you it was something with every house. Needs too much work, too small or wrong neighborhood.  I narrowed my search down to a specific area and zoned in on all properties available.  Detroit was the only city I was considering. Trust me I saw some good deals in the burbs (this included Highland Park) but my heart wouldn’t let me budge. Some days I would see upwards of 5 properties. There were properties listed but not available, sold already and the occasional the pictures looked better than reality. Thank God for warm days as they allowed me to see how the neighbors reacted to nice weather (my people will totally understand this rationale.)After actively looking for about a month, I found 2 and prepared to place an offer on.

 
After placing offers and not winning coupled with some frustrating miscommunication from the mortgage banker, I decided to revisit my plan. I had viewed upwards of 15 houses. At this time, I felt I saw all the houses for sale in my designated areas. Being fully self-aware, I knew I needed a break because I began to compromise on my must haves. This is one of those life changing experiences and I’m almost over it.  Of course, I had a deadline for the purchase when I started but it’s becoming more flexible in the coming weeks. There are other areas of my life that need my undivided attention. In the meantime, I’m going to go to this and possibly speak with some other financial institutions about mortgage services.


I’m not filing this as a failure just adjusting my goal to fit the situation. I’ll keep you updated regarding the results of my Detroit search/purchase.

The day has arrived! My one and only kid turns 18 – today.  You all met him when he was just a pup.  Now, he’s maturing into a man. It hit me like a sack of rocks this morning. This guy can buy cigarettes.  Maybe I’ll hold on until he can buy me drank!  🙂

Happy Burfday, Rez!! 

My Little Chocolate Joy

You’ve made me who I am today!

First of all, I know this post is a quarter late and probably not what you want to hear from me but I’m remiss to keep you all up to date. We’ll get into the details of the last 3 months in the coming days and don’t get tired of me.  🙂 Let’s carry on from where I left off. I began this post and never came back to post it.

I’ve explained to you before that I’m not into resolutions. Planning is my sort of thing. The last time I did this was 2015 and that turned out pretty good. So, here I am prepared to document my plan for the new year. Please know these are in no particular order.

Prepare for all ID renewal

I need to renew all legal identification this year. This includes my driver’s license and passport. This is always a dreaded time for me. I wait until the last minute, don’t think my look out and end up settling with the outcome over the next couple years.  In 2017, I vowed to get everything prepared as if it’s New Year’s Eve. The picture below should serve as a reference. I’ll be sure to post the results through the year. Now, if I could get my hair to do this again I would be happier.  

Pack A Lunch

Last year, I struggled with packing my lunch. Only because it’s so convenient to go down into the food court at work and pick up something.  According to my banking analysis for 2016, I spent more than 2,500 on takeout.  WHO THE FUCK HAS MONEY FOR THIS? Certainly, not me.  I have to do better as I prepare for the next stages of my life.  So far, I’ve only spent a few dollars on takeout but my planning for a small afternoon meal is getting better. It totally includes packing my lunch and hauling that lunch sack into the office at least 4 out of 5days a week.

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Save More Money

My financial goals were realized in 2016. I saw the purpose of a savings account – and it certainly was not to purchase shoes and airline tickets on a whim. Thanks to my Facebook group, I’m doing all types of savings challenges.  Envelope, $5 bill and spare change. All funds from these initiatives will be deposited into my savings account quarterly to keep money from being in my home. In addition, I’ve planned to continue to figure out how I can cut costs.  Here’s an example of a savings challenge.

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Reduce Cholesterol 

With my recent health issues/concerns, I have become a prisoner to a Lipitor prescription. I want out of this medicinal jail. I know what I have to do and this is my way of getting it done. By the end of the year, I want them to tell me I don;t need the meds anymore. True, my numbers are not bad but I have to prove I can responsibly manage my cholesterol to reduce plaque production.

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Purchase Martha & Marley Spoon/ Blue Apron Box

After my birthday, the next day I’m in great anticipation about is not even Valentine’s Day this year.  It’s Feb. 13th. That’s when Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party comes back to VH1. I’ve always loved Martha. My mother is a really good cook and would watch her show every day after Oprah. I learned how to fold sheets, dye eggs and set up for a kickass dinner party. In my efforts to cook more, I stumbled across this subscription box from Martha. I’m on board and will keep you informed on how it all works out.

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Be moved by May

I have alot going on this year including several reasons to celebrate. This calls for a more visitor friendly environment.  My planning is based on being moved into another home by May.  We’ll see how this shapes up and I’ll keep you posted on the search options.  Will it be outside of Detroit? Not a chance! I know my heart would break. For every bad that everyone can point out, I know the good.  This will ALWAYS be home to me.

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Date Nights

I generally don’t do the same cliche things others do in relationships.  My independent spirit has always lead to me creating better memories and becoming more creative. This one has been playing tennis in my mind for some time.  These will be instituted this year especially in the second half of the year. In addition, I have so many clothes in my closet with tags only because I think it would be great for when we go out. Let’s ramp this initiative up with some urgency – I’m not getting any smaller. (wink wink) LOL

date-night

Stop Frequenting Cheap Nail Salons

Within the last month of the year, I visited a really good foot doctor and he gave me some solid advice and unexcepted news. I’ll give you the good first. I didn’t have toenail fungus, just two badly bruised great toenails. The advice “you get what you pay for, maybe pay a little more for your pedicures to make sure they’re doing quality work.” Damn strip mall nail techs. You probably thought I was going to go there.  Not even but I thought this would give you a good laugh.

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Don’t Lose it at the Graduation 

I don’t know what I’m going to need to do but this one seems almost out of my control. Please direct me to some YouTube videos or something. I’ve already broken down at the championship banquet, senior parent meeting and on the sofa when he’s away. It’s something about that moment when you realizeY’all know I don’t want to embarrass the kid but something tells me it’s on the horizon.  Give me some tips or something!

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Park on Level 4 All 2017

I’m in between driving and ride sharing to work daily. I don’t mind driving but the walk from the parking structure is a chore some days. So, I’ve vowed to never park above level 4. at the end of ’16, they made us park in the company paid area or be locked in the structure. I like familiarity and driving around and around looking for parking is not a high point of my day. In the coming days, I’m considering purchasing a vehicle and this may change (you should see how some of these people park.) In the meantime, level 4 or bust.

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Everybody has their own goals and vision for 2017. These are the core items on my to-do list.  The numbers of the year have me energized, it’s me burfday scrambled. This seems like a pretty decent plan I can follow. What are your intentions for the next 12-months (or 9-months)?

🙂

After gracing the scene for one solid decade of NYE celebrations, I decided to do something different for 2017. Stalking in and slaying out. I designed a playlist of old favorites, missed productions and indies coupled with Chinese food and Belvedere. The look was simple:

  • Designer – Victoria’s Secret
  • Footwear – Bath & Body Works
  • Hair & Makeup – Puff & Not A Drop

Around 1:30A, I made my way to the bed. Oh, what a night to remember. I’ll be back! Most of all, I hope you enjoyed yourselves all over the world.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 🙂

It was a nice August 16th and I actually wore a dress to work. I was fighting a headache for about 3 hours.  While joking with some co-workers, I realized I was unable to communicate in my normal fashion. Ut oh, this thing is happening again. I sat polarized for a few moments waiting for it to pass.  It didn’t and I packed my things up to go home.  As I walked through the door, my son knew something was wrong with me.  I was in complete denial. After 7 hours, 3 phone calls, my sister, and mom visiting, 2 hours of reading aloud, my son decided to drive me to the hospital.

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As I walked from the parking lot to the receiving desk, I cried. What was wrong with me? He had to speak for me because at the time – the words would not form as articulately as I desired them to. They rushed me to the back.  No real information had been given and I was extremely agitated when they told me I would have to stay. I let the kid know he could go home, no sense in us both being uncomfortable in this overcrowded Detroit hospital ER. In addition, I let the doctor know the only way I was going to stay was if they gave me something to go to sleep. Whatever it was that they gave me I didn’t wake up until someone was trying to take off my pants. (It was good but I ain’t had NOTHING that would make me NOT realize my pants are being removed.) I was in my own room. Oh shit! I need to let somebody know where I am. True to form my phones needed life support. Mission: Text as many critical communicators as fast as possible.

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Yeah, you read it right! They believed I had a small stroke. Not a TIA again.  An actual, fuck yo life up stroke. What was my 36-year-old ass doing in here being diagnosed with this? Something called an ulceration of my carotid artery. Causing me to experience some speech impairment. My son had contacted my family. Some of my FB family reached out to me that were actually working in the hospital and in communication with me through our group message. I had reached out to the Mister on my way home the previous day and he found out they were keeping me later on. I felt a lot better but I really just wanted to get out of there.

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I took so many tests my head began spinning and every day I thought would be the day I’d be going home. Home wasn’t on the agenda until Friday. While I lay in that uncomfortable hospital bed with these foam boots on my legs, I analyzed my life. I never planned on leaving my son alone without a sibling.  He was 17 and depending on only himself.  I thank God I had grocery shopped over the weekend. He would stay late into the night then go to practice and come see me afterward. My room buzzed in the evening hours with visitors. It was nice but I wanted to go. When they began talking about me leaving, I perked up.  When she brought me the discharge papers, I was dressed. The nurse wanted to wait for a wheelchair, I opted to walk out.  The smell of the fresh air was welcoming. The taste was fulfilling and walking through my front door brought immediate satisfaction.


The main side effect I experienced from this was -slight aphasia. In my eyes, this was right up there with losing the function of one of my limbs. I know it may sound a little vain but communication is one of my strongest attributes.  As I sat alone in complete silence, I would speak aloud – searching for the right word and annunciation. Each day I became more frustrated and withdrawn because I wasn’t 100%. No matter how much better others said I was, there was no I could accept it.aphasia

The doctor had referred me to speech therapy but I was waiting for them to reach out to me with an appointment date. In the meantime, through my Googling, I learned that continuous communication would help my chances of strengthening/curing my ailment. I didn’t want people to hear me like this but I knew I had A LOT to be thankful for considering what I had been through.

Saturday was my 1st full day out, I got dressed and went to get my nails done. Once I returned home, I received a call from the security desk with a delivery. The kind people from my job sent me a welcome home present. I could just eat up all the kindness I was feeling, no LITERALLY. This was just what the doctor ordered. I needed to do better with my eating habits and fruit never hurt anyone. A few family members came over to share in the get well greeting.img_1601

I wanted to get back to work. I needed to feel normal again. After a few long conversations with a good friend, it was decided that I would work from home for a few days then return. Monday morning, I slid into the office picked up a few things I needed and was whisked outside to prevent me from taking on any additional assignments. While at home, I realized I needed this time. My body was still tired from the uncomfortable hospital and early morning test. It felt good to be of some assistance to my team again. They all instructed me to take as much time as I needed. They knew more than I did because I hadn’t thought about the 99 follow-up visits. They all stopped by to check on me and wish me well. This was appreciated but I didn’t wanna feel like an invalid. Moreover, being back at work has certainly assisted with overcoming the slight aphasia I was diagnosed with my the doctor.

Mission: Take pills as instructed. I hate taking medication because I believe the body it so sophisticatedly independent – it doesn’t need any help getting better. Not so this time, I was ordered to take what I would consider to be a fist full of meds.

Taking this medicine was almost as frustrating as the aphasia. I had alarms everywhere. The pills were on the dining room table and I felt like shit if I forgot to take them. Then one day while out on a Sunday afternoon to get some air, he asks “Mom, what happened to your legs?” I’m completely oblivious.  I look down and around and-

The bruising caused by the Plavix and aspirin combination was too much and I fell into a depression. I struggled with if I had bumped myself by accident, should I look into getting some of those foam boots I wore in the hospital or stopping the meds. Which one do you think won? If you guessed stopping the meds, you’re absolutely right.  My vanity was taking control of me. I reached out to my doctor and she gave me the green light to stop taking the Lipitor. I continued to take the Plavix and the bruising continued.  It wasn’t until I went back to for my stroke follow-up that I was instructed to continue the Lipitor and aspirin to stabilize the cholesterol. It was during this visit,  I was referred to psychology. Check out the reason he thought I might need it. Ya think!?img_3019

I never used this and by this time I had been to the speech therapist. She was very comforting and gave me some good information on what I could do for continued strengthening of my vocabulary and communication skills. By this time, I was experiencing sporadic episodes of “not being able to find the right word.” I had to get better.

 

 

Mission: Look for alternative ways to stay alive. I’m sure many of you can guess this hasn’t been easy on my family. I’m so young and we have a history of stroke in our family. More than that, we have a long life expectancy. I mean my mother is 70 still cruising around doing her own thing. One night The Kid walks in after football practice and says, “I can’t go away to college and you’re sick.” No truer words have been spoken by a mother, ‘I’m going to be fine. You go on and live your life.’  This put me on a task like nothing else had already done. I have to stay healthy. Not only for me but mainly to keep this stress off of him. The main concern of the doctor is controlling the cholesterol. I can do that! I MUST do this.

Here’s what I have learned in my short recovery:

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These are the signs of stroke. I have to table my fear of the hospital and bills. If they could put all my medical info at the dentist office, I’d be alright.  🙂  I need to be open with those around me if I should have such an episode in the future.  Time is the most important thing. (If you pay attention to the first image in this post. You’ll see I’m extremely blessed to even be typing this right now.) There are NO signs of severe stenosis and no apparent reason to consider the surgical removal of the ulceration. I have a be a little more patient with myself and keep my phone charged (ain’t no telling where I may need to go). I like the way it was explained to me. “A stroke is like and accident on the freeway. There will be traffic while they are trying to clear it up and traffic begins to move as if nothing had happened. The wait is determined by the size of the wreckage.” I just had a small fender bender and I have to be more careful to prevent a pile-up. This happened to me to force me into a lifestyle change. I need to eat healthier – bottom line. My cholesterol isn’t bad but I need to get back to the gym to assist with this, as well. Most importantly, I made the decision to NOT have any siblings for my son and by God, he will not be alone until the creator is satisfied my purpose has been completed.

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I was totally outdone about not having told you about my son’s pool incident. In addition to this, I was trying to locate Matthew. Then something came over me. I needed to meet that officer that saw it necessary to perform CPR on The Kid one last time. Where was I going to find him?

My son told me a while ago, ALL POLICE OFFICERS have a Facebook account. With the newspaper clipping in my hand, I typed in Officer Todd’s full name. The next few seconds consumed several reactions. These included tears, smiling and shock (my son may actually be right).   Scrolling through what I believed to be his page, I didn’t know what exactly I was looking for. We had never laid eyes on each other and maybe he had moved to another location. Then I caught a glimpse and recognized the Belleville location. This had to be him. Most of the posts on his page were with regard to law enforcement and fallen officers. I asked #80 if he’d like to go with me to meet him. His reply- YES with a smile. After I composed myself, I set out to send him a message. I composed the note the night before and pushed the send button the next day from my desk.




As you can read, he had been thinking of us as well. I knew he would be proud to know about that little boy he saved that day. Over the next couple weeks, our schedules in the Wilson household prevented an opportunity to make the meeting. Between the football, practice, school, and travel, we were both being pulled in all directions. I’m confident we’ll make this happen in the coming days.

Happiness is what I felt most by being able to make contact with him. Happiness because I’m proud to present to him a young man with no criminal record, on task to go to college and respectable. A kid that still doesn’t believe all of this happened to him but knows he owes his gratitude to the many individuals that helped him that Ill-fated day. And with all the news and media reports about bad policing, I know for a fact there are some good officers serving the communities across this land. Officer T. Schrecengost is our hero. Now, if I could track down Matthew, I’ll include them both on everything happening in the coming months of The Kid’s life.

The Kid only became a senior after June. Somehow or another he gets asked to the prom by a graduating senior. This all sound good until teenage girl anxiety walked into our lives.  I wasn’t expecting this type of stress until Spring 2017. The young lady’s prom showed me the areas I need to plan and execute for his send off.  Here’s the shortest version of this tale without becoming emotional.

So, when I was pregnant, I prayed to God to give me a son. He heard me. Then I prayed he’d be tall. Measuring in at 5’11”-6′ (depending on where we are). He heard me, again. I didn’t factor in was his charmingly fun attitude, personal sense of style and a little something people call swag which makes the girls gravitate to him.  He walks in one day and says “I got asked to prom.” WHAT?! We both think on it and decide it can’t be that bad. He just needs the following things:

  1. Suit
  2. Coordinating tie
  3. Corsage
  4. Haircut

Right? Oh, how wrong we were! We didn’t find out until the week prior what color her dress was. Then I hear his phone ringing EARLY one morning. Who could that be? He comes over to my room and says “I don’t even feel like going with her anymore.” She had called him and told him he needed to purchase his ticket to attend. This was not a part of the original deal. However, I tend to be a little compassionate to other children’s situation because I know everyone is NOT being parented the same. I coughed over the cash and got the items on the list.

The day came and there was some early morning drama. Then football practice that prevented him from getting to the barbershop on time. This meant Taylor was calling every 5 minutes. He got to the point where he wasn’t answering the phone. Then the logistic issues rose. The car service was coming to our place, she was waiting on him in Roseville. I had become more involved than I anticipated.

He arrived and the mini photo shoot began. I was asked if I wanted to be in the pictures. No. My year was 2017. Seeing him all dressed up brought some ideas to the light. We only had a few more events like this left in his primary education career. They looked very nice together.


No rest for me, I was on task to pick them up from the prom and transport them home. Her feet hurt and he was carrying his jacket. As he helped her out the car to end the night, she thanked him. He had fun and was full of suggestions for his big day. I know it’s going to be on a grand scale because we always doing the most.  🙂