My home is mine. I’ve never shared a space with a male outside of my kid on a permanent basis. This is due to this brain of mine having several reoccurring queries. Can you ever share your space with someone? Do you truly want to be married? Within three months of 2015, I had my answers.
I’ll never forget the day, I was at work and I received the call requesting me to come down and talk to him. As always, I hopped on that elevator and went down for what had become regular for us due to my late schedule. He suffered a tragedy that displaced him and wanted to know if he could stay with me. Of course I said yes, I wasn’t going to leave him in his uncomfortable state. After getting off work, stopping at the store and laundromat I came home to the man I love. The following morning, there were things to be done, places to go and we got up and to it. This included looking for a place and making space for his things. He also remedied a concern I was having with the tub and our 1st 24 hours wasn’t even up.
Over the next couple months, I grew to enjoy having him there. Talking into the night. Having him there to talk with the young man while I was at work. For a little while I didn’t need to double back home to get his food prepared for dinner. It was either already prepared or he went to get them something to eat. I became the woman I know I was meant to be – the lady of the house. As much as I was luxuriated in this moment, I knew it would come to an end. In preparation for this moment, we had time when we would be apart. I think this helped me and the boy more than anything. It allowed us to be together like we had been all this time without any additional parties. However, one day The Kid asked for him and I told him he wasn’t coming – I still don’t want to believe his face looked sad but it certainly changed.
The final days came and he took me to his new place. It was beautiful and I was happy for him. I helped him get his things together in his new home and from mine (which he didn’t remove all). Moreover, over the next couple weeks when I pulled in from work – it felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me because his vehicle wasn’t there. He wasn’t there to open his eyes as I got in bed to say, “how was your day?” The Kid had picked up his television viewing schedule and Martin would be on as I walked through the door. It was on one of my night conversations with The Kid that I expressed – I missed him. He told me, I should tell him. I never did. I felt it was pointless because I was spending so much time with him – how could I miss him. I missed him being here.
The answer to my internal questions has been reached. Can you ever share your space with someone – yes. Do you truly want to be married – yes. As I close on my 35th year of life, I finally have the answers that some women know for their whole life. I truly appreciated this experience and I’m patiently waiting for my life to move to the next chapter.